Highlights: Last GOP debatable episode of the year

Ron Paul said anyone on the stage could beat Obama.  He forgot he, Bachmann, Huntsman, Gingrich, Romney, and Santorum were on the stage.  Was he thinking of most improved Avon seller of the year, Meg Kelly?

Crazy-eyed Bachmann quotes Horton Hears a Who.  Cain quoted Pokemon.  For Christmas, Santa should bring politicians some decent literature and classic films.

Crazy Eyes also said she spent "50 years as a real person."  What has she spent the rest of her life as? A cat? A robot?

Rick Perry said him and Obama "will get it on."  I'm not sure what that means in Texas, but in the rest of the states, I know that would be offensive to Rick Santorum.

Apparently the Fox News crowd wanted to see the Trump Debate, no one laughed at Huntsman's joke about not showing up for any Trump Debates. It was funny, come on fox.

"Bret Baier looks like leave it to beaver." -Hannah.  I think he also looks like he popped out of Mad magazine.

Romney said Obama hasn't been living in the real world.  I wonder if he lives in the pretend world that Bachmann lived in during the brief time she was not a real person?

Unfortunately, Ronnie has been making too much sense these days.

I know I'm right because Politifact said so!- Ol' Crazy Eyes (According to Politifact, one thing she said was true, the other was completely made up.)

You can trust me because I write best selling books; claims the newt, smugly.

When asked to name their favorite Chief Justice quickly and move down the line, each candidate refuses to clean out their waxy ears and blah blah blah, their gums flap in time with the Facebook notification noise provided by Fox to shut them up.

Bachmann loves her slippery slope analogies.  Though she may be right that the world would crash if Ron Paul takes office.

It's ironic that Newt says "we need to tell the truth".  When I use the word "we", I include myself in the group.  When Newt uses it, it is synonymous with "you".

Apparently Newt practices not being "zany".  Practice harder, Newty.

Huntsman says that there is a Oil Monopoly.  Is it as much fun as Star Wars Monopoly, or Spongebob Monopoly?  Sounds like a drag.

Why are they talking about Keith Stone?  I guess it's because he's always smooth. 

Des Moines Debate Highlights

Michele Bachmann follows the footsteps of the late great Herman Cain by inventing a catchy title for her tax plan, the "win-win-win" plan.  Just as ambiguous, and just as easy to remember.

Gingrich sucker punches Romney for losing to Ted Kennedy and not being a career politician.  So, being a governor must rule him out for understanding how to be a politician. 

Ron Paul still looks like my old landlord, and continues to act as court jester.

Newt creeps me out whether he is scowling or chuckling.  His maniacal laugh could be used I as a Looney Toons villian.

Bachman talks about newcomer candidate Newt Romney, who is a fat Gingrich with Romney feathered hair.

Newt brags about having written bestsellers, as if that warrants an oval office.

Rick Perry fights weakly to remain relevant, while other Rick bobbles his head, just happy to be there at this point.

Mitt Romney needs to not take policy disputes personally.  Nothing personal, simply politics.

Bachman promised, if elected, not to rest until Obamacare is repealed.  I bet she sneaks in a few cat naps though.

Last Debate Highlights

Survivor: Celebrity Politician Edition- Plot Thickens As More Contestants Are Eliminated

For our amusement, the republican golf scramble for the White House continues to churn its candidates into the grease of its political machine this week. Unfortunately, the most entertaining player of the politically-charged comedic reality sitcom, Hermain Cain CEO, has graciously tapped out. This has caused great disappointment to many viewers who pined for new romantic plot twists, pokemon references, and catchy one-size-fits-all one liners.  His final address moved the audience nearly to tears as he bid farewell to his fellow contestants and fan base.  This serious toned voice was not the man we knew until he quoted Pokemon: The Movie, assuring us it was not his stuntman or a look-a-like filling in.  Many fans of the program are now wondering how the show will go on without him, much as was speculated when leading man Steve Carrell left The Office.  Only time will tell.

It is also unfortunate that the once critically-acclaimed funny man and supporting actor, Rick Perry, has kept a low profile since his midseason debute on the show.  He quickly proved to be the comedic highlight with his own interpretation of Kramer, that is, until his lines were altered in such a way that the writers were no longer true to his character.  He then sunk back in the shadows and remained dormantly bland for weeks. Like a child in the 19th century, he spoke only when spoken to instead of speaking loudly for attention over the television set like children of today. Thank goodness he is back!

Hilarity ensued during this past week's episode when the Perry we loved returned by asking the youth who would not be 21 by the primary to keep working hard while those who were 21 should vote for him. I still chuckle at his subtle alienation of the undesirable voting demographic of the 18-20 year olds.  His playfully satirical remark plateaued when he mislead the ignorant demographic by implying the wrong date for casting votes! Genius! Only that demographic would be fooled while voters 21 and older sneak quietly to the booth, pencil held high in silent mockery of the politically uninformed.

Not all the contestants are jubilant and care-free, however.  Tensions are running high between the hopeless Huntsman and the wealthy has-been Donald Chump.  The Hair has invited all the contestants to battle before his throne as Commudus of Rome, with the unspoken promise of the victor to be crowned with his endorsement.  Huntsman has refused to bow before the throne, and has begun his own movement of Occupy Any Space Void of the Donald. 

Huntsman's Occupy movement is hurting Chump's pride while simultaneously tearing our eyes from the intertwinings of Donald's beautiful, healthy mane, awakening our minds enough to ask the question, "how is he refusing The Hair?"  He must either be a Hut, or not weak-minded enough to fall victim to Jedi mind tricks.  However it is that he eludes the Hair is yet to be explained. 

Everyone understands the principles behind the adage "you have to kiss a lot of the bottom to make it to the top".  We can only guess what happened to the huntsman who defied the wicked queen by presenting her with the heart of a deer instead of Snow White's.  You cannot fool the Hair, and you cannot fool an employer. Look what happened to Freddo.  

In other contestant news:

Being too busy googling his own name, the other Rick will not be capitalizing on large scale manufacturing and distribution of the long sought after Rick Santorum Bobble-Head collection in time for Christmas. 

Michele Backman is indeed still running, slowly.

Ron Paul's cult remains small and restless, longing for Ron Paul the Grey to transform into Ron Paul the White, and take the ring of power for himself.

Mitt Romney still fumes when others reminisce of another Mitt who believed the opposite of what current Mitt believes.Other Mitt lives perpetually in the past, which will soon create a paradox in the space time continuum because the present will soon pass into the past, where two drastically different Mitts coexist with a polarized state of mind.

Newt Gingrich continues to scowl.

Congress declares Pizza = vegetable

Congress recently confirmed the age old question "is pizza a vegetable?" with a comforting "yes". No longer will you and your children lose sleep over that question.  Moreover, congress can finally concentrate its efforts on less pressing issues like is double fudge brownie ice cream dairy? Are double Whoppers fruit if you don't remove the tomato?  And, how can we balance the budget by ignorantly refusing to raise taxes while simultaneously refusing to make cutbacks on government funded programs?  I'm so relieved that the pizza dilemma has been put to bed.

Super Committee: Super Fail

Well, I can't say I'm not surprised.  I am, however, very disappointed.  Not in the sense that the goal wasn't accomplished, no, the real tragedy here is that absolutely nothing happened.  Remember the good old days when congressmen disagreed they would beat their opponent mercilessly with a cane like Preston Brooks did to Charles Sumner?  No canes were used by the super committee.  There was nothing super about it. 

Here's our buddy Sumner.  Doesn't he look like he just may need a good beating? 

Those were the days!  Discussions so heated that fists flew left and right until everyone who left the room was red, white and blue.   True Americans.  Unfortunately, after every day of long hours put in by the supposed "super" committee, each member trudged wearily out of the room with a noticeable lack of red and blue.  They are, however, defiantly true to the white aspect of the committee (which I don't think got enough attention in the press).

I think the super committee owes America an apology.  In every American's heart burns the question, where are the Aaron Burr's and Alexander Hamilton's of today?   I'm sure Burr and Brooks are turning in their graves at the sight of this clearly unAmerican approach to politics and debate.  This is not the America that Americans signed up for.   I'm sure that  John Hancock would be the first to remove his signature from the parchment and declare, "I would rather be enslaved to King George than live in a nation where we cannot speak our minds with our fists!"

When I imagine a super committee, I'm thinking The Avengers or Justice League of congress.  My super committee would include Burr, Hamilton, Jefferson, Adams, Brooks, and Franklin (to be the comic relief when it all hits the fan).  

To apologize for the great disappointment that the current super committee has caused, I think it's only fair that John Kerry (who looks eerily just like Andrew Jackson) and Rob Portman (who looks like he could be the late Pete Postlethwaite's twin) treat us to a cage match.  Usable weapons for the match include stop signs, chairs, and garbage cans.

 They owe it to America.

Nope. He Cain't.

Looks like our buddy Herman had no desire on turning around his campaign from being a joke to a contender for President.  And let's face it, it was a joke.  This is the man who wants highly electrified fences on the borders with a sign that reads "It will kill you", claims he will not allow any Muslims in his cabinet if elected, and answers all questions except those regarding sexual harassment with "9-9-9."  This is the man whose campaign manager blows cigarette smoke defiantly into the camera at the end of a campaign video, teaching us that running for President is cool, easy, and cancer inducing.  He forgets about thousands of dollars being paid out in court settlements, remembers, forgets forgetting, remembers he forgot, and then forgets remembering.  Here is a man who has one idea, the 9-9-9 plan, and not a single other original idea or plan for what to do if placed in the White House.  He refers to women as Princess, Tutti-Fruitti, and other pet names, yet denies sexually harassing women.  Here's a man who reassures us that whatever Obama's policy is in Libya, he is opposed to it.  What if that plan encourages democracy, Herm?  What if it were opposing genocide?  Think Herm, think.


Herman, if you by some Christmas Miracle end up in the White House and successfully implement your 9-9-9 plan, what next?  What about foreign policy?  You know, that stuff in Libya? Those American troops in the Middle East? Trade? Debt to China? Surviving an economic apocalypse when the Euro can only be useful as toilet paper and a source of heat?  He's got to have some other reason to occupy the hot seat in the Oval Office, visit congress, and address the nation.  Oh yeah, being President is cool.  What other reason is needed?  


The 9-9-9 plan is great for Cain.  How can he possibly forget the third number in his plan?  It's fool proof.  Had Perry dubbed his plan the Government-Government-Government plan, he would be looking slightly better now than he does.


I gained some insight into Herman's head with his philosophy on life.  Don't eat sissy pizza.  “The more toppings a man has on his pizza, I believe the more manly he is. … Because the more manly man is not afraid of abundance...A manly man don’t want it piled high with vegetables! He would call that a sissy pizza… I love the sausage, the mushrooms. Love it.”  More is better.  More sexual harassment allegations, the better!  More statements objectifying women in the press, the better!  Let's pile that stuff on baby, yeah!  No sissy pizza, and no sissy campaigning, you gotta pull out all the stops.  If your name is in the headlines, your name is in the headlines.  And his name is in the headlines.  But I guess you need more to get you into the White House, like maybe policies, or ideas, or something like that.


Pull yourself together Herm!  A guy named Newt is even ahead of you, man!  Though you've got a lot of skeletons in the closet, Newt has a free admission museum of atrocities under his belt.  And he's beating you.  Here's some advice: read the news.  Watch the news.  Listen to the news.  Something, anything.  If you have no idea what the current president is doing in Libya and you want to step into his shoes next year, you're going to be in a world of hurt.  While you're busy piling more greasy toppings on your pizza, your running mates are coming up with ideas, often unrealistic and highly entertaining, but ideas nonetheless.  

Why I Hate Public Restrooms

I hate public restrooms.  I try to avoid them as much as possible, and it is not just because of the smell, lack of sanitation and toilet seat covers, or even the natural adhesives that the tile kindly applies to my shoes.  Those are expected norms of the restroom experience.
What I don't care for, is how everything has to be automatic for my convenience and sanitary precautions.  

For example: say you walk into a bathroom.You begin to do your business. Suddenly, the automatic toilet begins to flush and you haven't finished yet.  With all the violent swirling water, you get your business all over yourself.  Cursing impatiently in your head, you finish what you started.

Next, you go to wash your hands.  You approach the sink and thrust your hands underneath the faucet.  You wait.  Nothing happens.  You move to another sink.  This time, ice cold water bursts forth like a geyser. With no direct stream path, water splashes all over you adding to the embarrassing amount of business you already have on your pants.  Well, you think to yourself, now I can honestly say the sink got water all over my pants.

Because there is no way to change the pressure or the temperature of the water, you stand as far back from the sink as your arms allow you,  reach for the water, and cringe.  After wetting your hands, you place your hand under the automatic soap dispenser.  Nothing happens.  As you reach for the dispenser on the other side of the sink, you hear the first dispenser as it excretes soap onto the floor.  Reaching back to the first dispenser, you get an unnecessary amount of foul smelling soap on your hands that, despite your best efforts at scrubbing in the icy  water, leaves a milky residue in the creases of your numb palms.

You hear the second dispenser exude soap on the floor as you approach the automatic paper towel dispenser.  While pausing to look at the second dispenser, you find you are now cursing under your breath.  Because you are distracted with your cursing, you do not hear the sensor of the automatic air freshener fastened to the wall as it prepares to channel a distasteful tropical fruit disaster directly into your unexpecting face. 

You bite your tongue viciously in an effort to stop yourself from screaming what you are thinking, but finding it impossible, express yourself perhaps too loudly.  Your words are jumbled and confusing even to your own ears as your throbbing tongue attempts to paint your elegant list of vocabulary in the air.  The tropical volcanoes that were once your boring and unscented eyes cloud your vision with streams of saline that now flow unashamedly down your enraged mountain of a face.

When you blindly wave your hand in front of the paper towel demon, a paper towel the width of toilet paper creeps out of the demon's mouth.  Not being sufficiently large to dry your hands thoroughly, you wave back and forth for a long ten seconds so the demon can reload.  It spews out another negligible amount of towel that still is not enough.  Wave, dry, repeat.  For better results, follow steps one through three.

Your journey now ends as you face the one object in the room that you absolutely did not want to touch, and is ironically not automatic: the doorknob.

Various Political Updates

Cain He Do It?

In the article The Herman Cain Crack-Up in the Huffington Post last week, the author asks the question:  should a man who paid a woman $35,000 not to talk about something be a president? Let's not be naive, many a president has done that.  But it appears she's not the only one who wants to talk about it.  What started as something that could have been just mud-slinging and political bathwater now appears to be somewhat of an issue.  But let's not let this mask the fact that not everyone running has a clean track record.

Newt Gingrich is himself a snake.  Here's a man who in his political career has had 84 ethics violations filed against him, and the only Speaker of the House to have been disciplined for ethics violations ( Yang, John E. (January 22, 1997). "House Reprimands, Penalizes Speaker". Washington Post.).  In his personal life, he was 19 when he married his 26 year old High School Geometry teacher, who he left after 18 years of marriage to be with a woman with whom he'd been having an affair.  His wife had been in the hospital undergoing surgery when he came and said he wanted a divorce.  After marrying his mistress, he cheated on her and ten years after the end of his first marriage he was divorced again.  He married his second mistress who is 26 years younger than he is.  Ironically, while he himself was cheating on his second wife, he was the head of the Republican investigation of the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal.

Now, I understand that no one is perfect, and that even Big Bird makes mistakes.  But let's look at what some of those mistakes are, and judge for ourselves if the moral backbone of the candidate should represent America or not.  Will someone who's personal life is a mess give our country full attention in providing jobs?  I'm not saying we start casting stones here, but perhaps look beyond shiny proposals and platforms and look at the personal life of the candidates as well.  There will be mistakes like anyone else, but some of these mistakes are important measures of character.  A man who even cheats on his mistress is one who I would seriously question.  And if these three allegations of harassment are true, I would question that as well.  It's not who debates the best that should be president, it's who is fit to run the country that deserves to be president.  Let's keep that in mind.  So Cain he do it?  I'm guessing in a matter of days we'll know for sure.  

I'm Proud To Be An American (CEO)

If tomorrow all the jobs were gone,
I’d achieve my goal in life.
I'd give away my shares,
To just my children and my wife.

I’d thank my lucky stars,
to be livin here today.
'Cause the flag still stands for freedom,
and they can’t take that away.

And I’m proud to be an American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the unemployed,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

From the factories of Africa,
to our friends the Chinese.
Across the plains of India,
From sea to shining sea.

From tech support to textiles,
To production and offshore banks.
We've cut our costs in taxes
and its time you stand and say.


That you're proud not to be an American,
where at least you know you're free.
And you wont forget that you're employed,
And you got that job from me.

And you'll gladly stand up,
Next to me, and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt we love this land,
God bless the USA.

And I’m proud to be and American,
where at least I know I’m free.
And I wont forget the unemployed ,
who gave that right to me.

And I gladly stand up,
next to you and defend her still today.
‘Cause there ain’t no doubt I love this land,
God bless the USA.

- Jake

GOP Party Time!

It's party time again, for the Grand Old.  I don't see so much "grand" as I do "old" this time around, though. How many of you out there on the interwebs have watched at least one of these debates?  If you're into reality TV crap, this is your Mecca.  The stuff on so called "reality" TV isn't real.  Take Jersey Shore for example.  A group of guys and girls who do not have jobs, do not have responsibility (well, to their credit, they do laundry once a day, which is more than sufficient to keep clothes clean, but hey! they're being proactive about something, right?) or accountability, spend nearly every day and night drunk out of their minds, and buy stuff with an unseemly never ending bank account.  That's not reality.  You know what is?  Watching these candidates display the worst of human nature. Oh sure, you can see that on The Real Housewives, Survivor, and any other reality show where contestants "throw each other under the bus."  While I'm on the subject of scripted reality, I think I'll tackle it really quick. 

Another way to poke holes in the "reality show" bubble is to examine the cliches that are used each season.  Everyone says them, so it has to be scripted.  Another one I hate to hear is "for the right reasons".  They always say that, and how are we as an audience supposed to interpret the phrase when everyone on the show says it?  See how confusing this could be in my example: Tammy says, "Freddie went to the kitchen, but I don't think he went for the right reason."  So why did Freddie go to the kitchen?  Well, you might say, he was hungry.  But if he was hungry, and someone thought he wasn't going to the kitchen for the right reason, then that means he went to the kitchen with ulterior motives.  Maybe  Freddie finally snapped, and the voice in his head said he needed to kill Janice after all.  Tammy would be right, because you would think the right reason to go to the kitchen is to make yourself a ham and cheese sammich with light mayo, lettuce, and tomato on a croissant.  But!  Then again, that might not be the "right reason" either, because maybe to Freddie, the "right reason" was to extract his revenge on Janice for "throwing him under the bus".  So Tammy is incorrect in the assumption that he didn't go for the "right reason", because her "right reason" and his are different.  Confused?  Me too.  Let's talk politics.

Politics.  I'll break that word down to its roots so that we can fully understand what the situation is (and I don't mean the guy from Jersey Shore).  Politics comes from two words "poly" and "ticks".  "Poly" meanining many, and "ticks", meaning blood sucking ectoparasites that can infect their victim with bacteria, viruses, and protozoa while engaging in a predatory relationship.  

So let's look at some highlights of the recent debate between the parasites who want to suck your vote for President:

• Nearly every time the Bachmann speaks, she throws in and emphasizes Obama or Obamacare, whether or not it's relative to the question asked.  
• Perry calls Cain "brother".  Wow, you've got some nerve doing that, Texan.
• Cain confuses everyone (including himself) by talking about fruit.
• Romney reaches out and grabs Perry to ask him to shut his pie hole.
• Perry exercises restraint and does not punch out Romney the way we know he would like to. 
• The audience boos Perry repeatedly for comments he makes.
• Ron Paul philosophizes about how great a Utopian society would be as long as it is definitely not a Utopia,  Ronald Regean is dictator (but not called a dictator), health care doesn't exist for those who can't afford it so they die off and natural selection dominates.
• Cain reemphasizes that if you're poor it's your own fault.  Not to mention 9.1% unemployment, outsourcing, corporate greed, machines taking humans' jobs, graduate students who are more than qualified for work but no one will hire them, unbalanced budgets...
• Santorum refuses to make eye contact with anyone as he responds to questions.
• Romney is attacked brutally for cutting his lawn.
• Perry is attacked brutally for being Rick Perry.
• Cain takes heat for his 9-9-9 plan that none of the candidates have read, but know that it has to be awful because they have yet to write a plan of their own.
• Bachmann says, ""Anderson! Ander- Anderson! A- And- Anderson! Anderson! A- Anders- And- And- Anderson! Anderson!" And Anderson Cooper disappoints by not responding with "WHAAAAAAAT?"
• Newt Gingrich throws in his two cents before each commercial break to remind us that he's been there all along.
• Each candidate tells us how far superior they are from everyone else.
• Each candidate belittles at least two others with sub-belt punches.

Another successful party has come to an end.  Can I take some guacamole home with me in an air tight container?

Water

So, out of curiosity, I started tracking how much water I drink during a day.  The average person is supposed to drink 8 cups a day.  I just started keeping track of how much I drink, and turns out, I was only drinking about ONE CUP A DAY.  I would get a sip from the drinking fountain when I was thirsty, but that was all.  I might have one cup of milk, or a 32 oz cup of soda every now and then, but that is no substitute for water.  You do get some water from the food that you eat during the day, but that doesn't make up for pure liquid either.
So, I figured that you need to be drinking water constantly throughout the day. That means you have to drink even when you're not thirsty.  Now that I've been drinking a minimum of 8 cups of water per day, I feel much better.  And not only do I feel better, I have less of an apetite as well.  I had to eat more to get the water I needed since I wasn't drinking it, but now that I'm drinking it, my body doesn't need as much food.  How do you like them apples?

Serenity Now!

One of my favorite lines in a TV sitcom ever is when Frank Costanza screams, "Serenity now!" in an episode of Seinfield.  Ever felt like shouting that?  I've been reading the news a lot the last little while.  Every day I read what is going on in our country. For the first time I've been absorbed in keeping up with current events, understanding economics, finance, and political bathwater.  I've never before been so engaged, involved, and dissatisfied.

I heard about the tragedy in Afghanistan with the American troops that were shot down, and so I wanted to read about what happened.  It was actually not that easy to track down.  It wasn't a big headline or on breaking news, so I wondered if maybe it had been too long between the incident and when I tried to find it.  But when is too long?  If it happened Saturday, and Sunday morning I go to read about it and I have to dig around to find it, has the media already forgotten about it?  Have they already forgotten about the families affected?

Guess what's on the front page of CNN right now?  A huge story about a convention where hackers from across America get together to learn tricks of the trade.  8 year olds are learning how to hack computers and pick locks.  There are several stories about the national debt and the foul play in Washington.  A crazy sect leader who raped his nephew.  Robberies, shoot outs, and a story about people who lit cars on fire because of a murder.  And guess what also shares that same page?  An article about how Ashton Kutcher filmed his first episode of Two and a Half Men.  That's worthy of sharing the same page as Americans shot down in Afghanistan?

It makes me sick.  I'm sick of the media feeding us such depressing material.  I'm sick of the awful people creating depressing material to be shared by the media.   I'm sick of headlines. I'm sick of politicians.

What an awful place we live in.

I read an article on Friday entitled, "Are the Millennials Cut Out For this Job Market?" which at first glance leads you to believe that its another article publishing the stories of recent college grads destined for greatness that are parking cars and waiting tables.  It is, however, not about that at all.  The misleading title lures you into a slanderous and condescending article written by a Baby Boomer who believes that my generation is annoying, demanding, self-centered, and lazy.  There are members of my generation who fit that description, but there are also a great deal who fit that description who span other generations as well.

Apparently my generation is being deemed as a failure by many, and it's predicted that we don't have what it takes to carry this country in the future.  Well, we're being handed a very difficult burden to shoulder, and who's fault is that?

I was proud to be an American.  I think I'll be apathetically complacent to be a Canadian.

Serenity now.

National Crises

"Most Americans, regardless of political party, don't understand how we can ask a senior citizen to pay more for her Medicare before we ask corporate jet owners and oil companies to give up tax breaks that other companies don't get. How can we ask a student to pay more for college before we ask hedge fund managers to stop paying taxes at a lower rate than their secretaries? How can we slash funding for education and clean energy before we ask people like me to give up tax breaks we don't need and didn't ask for?" - Obama


"We can't allow the American people to become collateral damage to Washington's political warfare." - Obama


"This debate isn't about President Obama and House Republicans ... it isn't about Congress and the White House ... it's about what's standing between the American people and the future we seek for ourselves and our families.You know, I've always believed, the bigger government, the smaller the people. And right now, we have a government so big and so expensive it's sapping the drive of our people and keeping our economy from running at full capacity." - Boehner


If Medicare and social security disappear, what will happen?  What will happen to me and my family next week if things aren't resolved in the White House?  Senior citizens won't be able to get prescriptions, college kids won't be able to afford school, cars, families can't buy a house.  How will young couples get monetary support to start families of their own?  I fit into a large chunk of those categories right now.


Why do the working families of America have to shoulder the debt, while the wealthiest get more wealthy?  How in the world does our government "by the people, for the people" allow this to happen?  If things don't get better, I may seriously consider moving to another country.  I'm really questioning my patriotic feelings for my country.  I've been very disappointed.  Why can't our elected officials play nicely?  This shouldn't be an ego feast or a battle for a dominant party.  This should be about keeping the quality of life for every American the best that it can be.  It's about providing an environment where people can grow and flourish,and have the pursuit of happiness.  It is difficult to do so when taxes are high, unemployment is high, interest rates are high, and it's all caused by those who hold the keys to our financial freedom.  


Washington, don't screw this up.  We were counting on you.  Now we're pleading you to listen to reason. Ease our burdens, don't increase them.

At The Scene of the Crime

Last night I went with my wife Hannah and her sister Carolyn to see Harry Potter while in Provo.  We were very excited, having done a Harry Potter movie marathon leading up to the event.  We were in the movie for about an hour and a half, when some lights started flashing in the theater, and a recorded message repeated something like, "an emergency has been reported.  Please move towards the stairs and take the closest exit".  As we were walking out we asked a staff member who said she thought there was a minor fire.  When we got to the parking lot though, the general manager announced that there was a man who entered the theater with a bomb.  Soon enough, several policemen, ambulances, and fire trucks arrived at the scene.  They walked all over the theater, including the roof, and then asked us if we had seen him.  He more than likely left with the crowd.  We didn't get to see the end of the movie, for the which we were rather peeved.

"Man uses homemade bomb to rob Provo theater"

So...Whodunnit?

A lot of people are really bent out of shape about the ruling of a recent court case in which a woman accused of murdering her child was found not guilty. I've got two points that I want to address: the role of the media, and the effectiveness of our court system.

1) The role of the media.
The media with all it's wiles and attention grabbing has to dip it's hand in the cookie jar at every opportunity. And what keeps watchers coming back more than the story of a cold hearted killer? Look at the Amanda Knox case in Italy. Because of the role of the news and media, the jury was swayed by non-existent evidence and slander from the media, and a gentle push from the the prosecution. There was a severe lack of substantial evidence to pin the crime on any one person or various people. The news pulled out all the stops on Casey Anthony exposing all the dirt there is on her to paint her as a killer, despite the severe lack of evidence presented in the court room. Which leads me to my next point.

2) Effectiveness of our justice system.
Unlike Amanda Knox, the jury was not seduced by the enticements of the media. The jury could not convict Casey Anthony because they were not shown evidence "beyond a reasonable doubt". There was plenty of doubt. And they couldn't live with themselves if they convicted someone for life (or death) for something they could not say they knew was true. She may have done it. She may have not. But according to the evidence, there wasn't enough to tell.

So. Go ahead and blow up, get upset, rant and rave, but the truth is our system works. She was given a fair trial from our court system, and unjustly harassed by the media. Thank goodness for the good people of America who saw the facts and lack thereof for what they were, and did not get bullied into a decision by networks.

Late Night Philosophical Nonsense.

I haven't blogged in a long time. So I guess wide awake at 2:00 in the morning is as good a time as any. Sometimes things happen in your life that you have no control over: a death, a car accident, being fired, receiving a miniscule and degrading annual raise defining your worth and status in a company, what have you. Being affected by something and being powerless to change it is a difficult pill to swallow.

I was part of a leadership team for an organization at USU. I have been for a year and a half, and had planned on continuing that until I graduate. Some changes occurred, a new president was put in, and he decided to start everything fresh by replacing the entire leadership team with a new team. Our former team that I was apart of won a prestigious award that we went to Las Vegas to receive. And yet, unfathomably, the new president replaced that team wanting a fresh outlook and "new blood". He created a new team of people who scarcely know what the organization is about.

The worst part of all of it, is that he didn't bother to let the former team know that they were being "let go". So now I won't have three and a half years of leadership experience on my resume, or all the networking possibilities wah wah wah, boo hoo. And there is nothing I can do about that.

It seems small and insignificant, sure, but how about the humiliation I had standing in front of my peers who knew I was no longer apart of the team and addressing them as one of their own without the slightest clue that I had been axed? And then confronting him later and being told that I wasn't a part of the team months after the fact? And after having contributed most of the ideas that he said he was going to implement as if his own thick head conjured them from the vaults of wisdom hidden within.

And there was nothing I could do about it.

What do you do? Do you chew the person out? What good does it do? Sure, maybe he'd put me back on the team if I made a fuss, but if I know I wasn't wanted on the team, I won't want to work with the team. And I sure won't want to work with him. The decision was made and it's finality was well established by everyone but me because he didn't have the guts to tell me I was no longer a part of the team.

Remember in elementary school the kid in the class that always told you you colored wrong, you jumped rope poorly, you shot the basketball and crossed the monkeybars like a pansy? Remember how that made you feel? The nerve of some people. You pull out the rubber and glue analogy and try to throw it back in their face. And why? Cause you're kids and you don't know how to handle it. The kid just laughs at you because he made you feel stupid and then you personally affirmed your intelligence by reciting poetry to him in defense.

So a decision was made and whether or not I like it, giving the president a piece of my mind won't change a thing. And why should it? If I tell him what to do he'll resent me for it, even if he knows it's for the best. I won't fuel the fire of his indignation by telling him how to run the group. It's not my place. And it's not anyone's place. Nothing anyone says to him will change his mind. He cut me out. It was his decision. So deal with it like an adult. Take my bow to the silent stunned audience and pray the curtain doesn't hit me on the way down to add to my embarrassment.

Did I have an earful for him? You bet I did. How dare he he cut me out without even telling me? I was boiling beneath the surface that was hardly masked by a pleasant demeanor. I was livid. But I had to see this guy every day for the next three days because I was stuck in a city with him far from home. Was I a coward for not wearying his ears with my anger, or trying to throw it back in his face with an elementary school jingle of sticks and stones or rubber and glue? I don't think so. I'm not going to lecture him about coloring in the lines or shooting a basketball, and I'm not going to tell him how to run the organization he's hand picked and worked with for several weeks without me. I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of hearing me whine after he figuratively slapped me in the face.

Life gives you lemons, and sometimes life throws them viciously at you when your back is turned. Michael J. Fox once said, "The only decision in my life that I don't have, is whether or not I have Parkinsons." And for me, the only decision in my life that I don't have is the decision that is made by someone else. I don't have to like it, I only have to accept that it was made and decide what I can do to improve my situation. Sometimes it's "going to the mattresses" and sometimes it's the path of least resistance. Why contaminate someone else with my anger if it doesn't improve the situation? It's sort of childish, isn't it? He wronged me. He threw that lemon at my head and knocked me off my feet. Sure it's gratifying to throw it right back and strike an adam's apple, but didn't Ghandi say that "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth, and the whole world would be blind and toothless"? Maybe it was Rev Tevye.

The point I'm getting at is that there are things that happen that are beyond our control. Sometimes people make decisions that we can't understand. Maybe I just don't have all the facts. If I did, maybe they would add up to be a carefully constructed formula that is both logical and intuitive. Or maybe it's complete garbage and foulplay. I can dispute it, I can fight it, but I can't change it because it's out of my control. It's done, it's over, now what? How many times has that question been asked: now what?

You're in check, and are left with few options. The board is all but cleared and you have a rook and a pawn. Your opponent laughs from across the table, but the game isn't over just yet, is it? You form a new plan. You work with what you've got. You see new paths that otherwise wouldn't present themselves until you're forced to look for them. Sure, maybe you fail in the end, but at least there is an end. At least you didn't drop out before the last piece struck the table and you knew precisely the outcome. You knew exactly where you stood.

So I ask the question:

Now what?

How I Got Home Yesterday

I wish that I had dashed lines following me home from school yesterday like Billy from the Family Circus. Haha, oh Billy, you always take the longest way to get to the sandbox.

The people who lived in our new apartment before us said something about a path and stairs that go straight up the hill to the Business Building on Campus. I was leaving work at the HR department and thought, "It will take about an hour to get home by bus, I could probably get home faster just going down the hill." Good logic, right? So I went to where said stairs should have been, and saw a thin dirt path leading downward. I began to walk down it, when two paths diverged into the woods, and I, I puzzled by the two less traveled paths, and it didn't make a difference. So I chose one and followed it on and on into nowhere. I retraced my steps and took the other path, which lead me nowhere. A little annoyed, I climbed back up the hill and looked around for where my house was located, and then began my descent looking for the secret stairs. I was in my nice kaki pants and collared shirt and was climbing over trees, pushing through branches, and by the way it has been raining all week so I was sloshing through wet knee high foliage and mud.

The way was shut, it was closed by those who are dead tree branches, so I had to double back and move across the hill and after a few minutes was completely lost. I could barely see the road and houses down below in some spots, and nothing but trees in others. I was out of breath from going up and down the hill, and my legs were sore from fighting the wet earth to stay beneath me. I climbed back up the hill a ways again to regroup and try another way down. Finally I came to a clearing, and there was a 10 foot wide canal separating me from a path that looked like it was used for ATVs. There was no way to cross the canal except for a rusting iron bar that was about three inches wide that was spanning the canal. I reluctantly sat down on it and shimmied my way across it, leaving rust all over my already dirty pants. I got to the other side and began to walk. The trail ended at the mudslide from last year with no good way down to the road, so I doubled back and walked for a few minutes until I finally found a way down to the road. I found myself about three or four blocks away from my apartment. No where near where I thought I was.

The secret stairs were indeed, secret. As I neared my home, the bus I could have been on drove by. It was nearly an hour after I began my walk home.

End of Semester Snap

Well it's that time of year again, you know, the time when everything is due all at the same time and even though you've been working on it all along there doesn't seem to be any end in sight. That's the case for me as well as everyone else. I've been so busy lately that leisure time stresses me out. It's healthy to take a break between studying and stressing, but when the impending doom of finals week is rearing it's ugly head over the horizon, you can't help but feel guilty taking a 15 minute break, watching a tv show, or taking a quick walk in the fresh air (in between sporadic rain and snow storms). Heck, I even feel guilty right now for blogging since I've been studying for the past couple of hours.

In retail, the labor budget is driven by sales. When people buy, you work more. When they don't, you don't. When I need the hours the most, nobody buys anything, and when I need time to study, people are busting down the doors to buy stuff. I don't mean to complain about the hours, they are much needed. But they come at the most inconvenient times! I've got two tests this week, a test and group presentation next week, and a paper due that I don't even know when. Could be this week, or next, or the one after, I don't know.

I guess I lost my mind Saturday night. I went to Baby Animal days and got my shoes all muddy, and my feet were wet. I hardly slept at all, and when I woke up in the morning, I didn't feel well at all. No one can ever cover for you last minute, so I ended up having to work that night. I felt like a robot. I was on auto pilot. I didn't think, I just moved, spoke, ate, and when it was time to finally end my day with rest: I waited. and waited. a few hours I waited. Robots don't sleep. I don't believe C3PO at all when he said he was going to rest his circuits. It's like that creepy kid in AI, he just stares through the night waiting for the humans to wake up and teach him how to eat human food.

So monday I slept in until 12:30, I was lucky to have finally fallen asleep sometime around 3:30 or 4. Hopefully tonight won't be a rerun of last night. My shoulders are so tight I have a dull pain in them most of the time. I'm using my massage chair constantly. Today while working in the HR office I pulled my back lifting some boxes too. Oh semester, please end soon. Be kind to me.

Sick of the assumption that all "white" people are racist

I'm taking an anthropology class right now at school. At first we learned a lot about biology, human variation, genetics, and so forth. Every now and then a debate over race perception would be intermingled with the lecture, but lately we've spent most of our time with students reading essays in class and discussing the hot topic of racism.

We've discussed controversial topics such as affirmative action, white supremacy, and white privilege a lot during class. What I've found, is that nearly all the anthropology and philosophy major students and others who publicly proclaim that they are an "intellectual" are only really concerned about one thing, which I'd like to call: White Guilt. I define White Guilt as the desire for Caucasians to feel bad for being white. Why is it that everyone assumes white people are racist? It seems that in the racism war that the media, teachers, politicians and equal rights groups spend so much time trying to teach people that there is no sin in being Chinese, African, Native American, etc, but shame on us white people for our ancestry and their crimes against humanity.

I never owned slaves. As far as I can see back in my ancestry, neither did my family. I'm not saying my ancestors weren't racists, maybe they were, I don't know. And even if they were, is it fair to tell me that because of something they did, it makes me a racist? Or that I should suffer for the things that they did? There are plenty of scholarships available for minority groups where the only qualification, it seems, is to have graduated high school and be black or latino. But what about the underprivileged members of the racial majority? How is it fair to give scholarships to just latinos or just blacks, and not be considered racist? If there was scholarship available for students who's household income was less than $20,000 a year and who are white, law suits would be inevitable.

We have somewhat of a diverse classroom. There are several racial groups represented who have been able to share their experiences growing up or living in a society with a white majority. I don't mean to say they haven't suffered prejudice or challenge in their life, it just seems that some of the experiences they share in class are exaggerated to make whites feel bad as if we had all committed the act of which they are speaking. And many of them have only had a few experiences where they've been emotionally hurt because of racist related incidents.

Everyone gets bullied at some point of their life. It seems they were mostly bullied for skin color. Others are bullied for being accused of, viewed as, or being geeks, homosexuals, poor, socially awkward, underprivileged, and the list goes on and on. I don't mean to say in anyway that being bullied for skin color is not emotionally damaging. I understand that it is, I recognize the pain that some groups face during their life. But they are not the only ones in pain. There are plenty of white people who are bullied by white people who suffer severe emotional and mental damage that results in prescribed medication and therapy. There are as well blacks bullied by blacks, Asians by Asians, Native Americans by Native Americans, etc, who suffer equally as bad as blacks bullied by whites, or Latino by Asians, whatever it may be.

Is there such thing as white privilege? Yes. Are there white supremacists? Yes. And you can look up all the statistics you want about inequality in the workforce, discrimination in job selection, medical care, and what have you. But the average person does not feel resentments or prejudice against every person that is not like them. It's unfair to say all of this race are this, or all of that race are that. Individuals are individuals. Some individuals are racist, others are not.

Oh and I'm sure that by simply bringing up the topic will earn me the label of being racist because racism against white people is a taboo topic. It's assumed that if you're white and feeling effects of racism towards you, you must be a hater anyway and are seeing what you want to see.

In class we watched a film of a study that a professor did. He is Chinese American and approached random people in the streets of San Francisco and asked them all one question: What does it mean to be white? Some of the people he asked were white, others were of other ethnicities. What he found was a trend in nearly all the white people he spoke to. They all tried to disassociate themselves with whiteness! They all tried to say things like they were Italian, Irish, British, or avoid the question by saying people are people, we're all the same under the skin, etc. And why? Because even the word "white" has as much of a negative connotation to it as "black" when used in certain ways. By saying I'm white to people of other ethnicities automatically earns me other titles like bigot, hypocritical, self-righteous and narrow-minded.

Most Mexican Americans are proud of their heritage, and there is nothing wrong with that. But if I were to say I'm proud of my heritage, what is the world's perception on that statement since I'm white? Isn't it assumed by most that by saying "I'm proud of my heritage" what I'm really saying is "I'm sure glad I'm not anything else?"

It would seem that in this world that is supposedly taking greater steps towards racial equality and acceptance, that equal rights still don't create equality. Instead of pushing for "equality" which is virtually impossible due to intolerance to religion, culture, sexual orientation, political views, etc, why not push for equal opportunity?

I'm a white college student who does not have a scholarship. My grades were just as good as a girl I know who got a very generous scholarship just because her mother is from Spain. Even the scholarship she got was titled, Diversity Scholarship. Why should anyone gain privileges over another simply for ethnicity or race? She wasn't born in Spain, her mother was. According to the criteria, they should have offered the scholarship to her mother, if anyone. She didn't speak spanish, had only visited Spain once or twice, and otherwise had no real connection with her mother's culture.

Equal Opportunity means that anyone who wants to should be able to go to college, no matter their income. People with good grades should be able to receive scholarships based on merit, not on the basis of having a more diverse university. If it were equal opportunity, universities wouldn't have to pay extra so that half-spanish students choose their school over another.

All I'm trying to say is that today's society has added another term to be analyzed, debated, and frustrated over: White Guilt. Which means that it really doesn't matter if your racist or not, if your white you should be ashamed of yourself because, well, because. You have no other excuse. Some of your peers are bad people, so be ashamed for them. Look at all the terrible things that are happening to other people, and in some way it has to be your fault, you're white. If you're as great as you think you are, you'd put a giant band-aid over all these problems and they'd go away. But you can't, so you're an even worse person than we told you you are.

Thanks society, I think I'll just mope around and complain about how hard life is for me too.

Life Lessons Learned in Accounting? Alliterations??

This afternoon I was sitting in my managerial accounting class mult-tasking. I was trying to look intrigued while fighting the urge to nod off like the rest of my sleepy classmates. I don't care how boring the class is, it always upsets me to see people sitting towards the front of the class who stare at the professor open mouthed and roll their head to the side unashamedly and non discretely to check the clock on the wall every couple of minutes. Today there was a woman in her mid to late 30's doing just that. I couldn't help but think to myself, "Come on, really? If you're going to school this late in the game you have way more reason to look interested in what he's saying than the rest of us."

Towards the end of class my professor noticed her roll her lazy head to look at the clock again while letting out a sigh. He began to address her and I thought, boy is she going to get it, this will teach her to look interested. Instead, what happened was a shock to me, and a wake up call to the rest of the class. He asked, "Your father passed away a few days ago didn't he. How are you doing? Are you ok?"

All of my pointing fingers curled into a fist that beat mercilessly on my conscience. She replied that she was doing alright, and he said, "My dad died yesterday."

I gained a great amount of respect for both of them. It must be hard to get up and go to school and try and stay focused with the weight of your loss on your shoulders. It was all she could do to get through another class. And what courage my professor had, to stay and teach a class that few were actually listening to when he could have cancelled to mourn his loss. He must have thought it was important for us that he was there.

It just goes to show that you never know the reasons behind why anyone does anything. Some people may be rude, or treat others badly because they are suffering and don't realize that their behavior is unacceptable. In hard times our minds often move a million miles an hour on auto-pilot and we do things we wouldn't normally do, and say things we wouldn't normally say. We can be so focused on the past or the future that the slippery minutes we grasp at presently, pass into history without a second thought of civility or decorum.

How quick we are to pass judgement and make assumptions. I need not repeat the familiar adage of assumptions and what becomes of us when we assume.

I do still believe that there is no rhyme or reason behind drivers of big trucks. The consistent behavior of trucks on the road has led me to believe that perhaps the reason they drive the way they do is in fact because of the truck. Perhaps it is uncomfortable, or perhaps it doesn't get the gas mileage that they were promised from television ads and checkered suited salespeople. Or perhaps the trucks need an exorcism.

To be, or to be crazy?

So I don't know if any of y'all are following this Charlie Sheen business. He be straight up crazy. Is he pulling a Joaquin Phoenix, or is he just delusional from "banging 7 gram rocks" and living a "@$^@&@$ rockstar lifestyle"? Let's look at the facts:

1) Most Paid Television Actor this year for performance in Two and a Half Men. First of all, who watches that show? I don't even know what it's about. I guess always kind of assumed that it was either about two gay guys who adopted a kid, or three elderly men suffering from diabetes. Apparently this show has been around for eight years, and people are still wondering does anyone watch this show?? and if no one is watching, why are they still making new episodes? (at least until recently)

2) Has not been in a significant leading movie role since 1989, and at that, those movies were forgettable. His best performance was a two minute segment at the end of Ferris Bueller.

3) Son of "famous?" actor Martin Sheen. Growing up watching his daddy living that life so he got plenty of ideas there I suppose.

Let's analyze the facts here than. He is either:
a) just "living the dream" of his undeserved fortune and withdrawals from severe cocaine addiction
b) trying to get some attention because his career is at an all time low
or
c) mentally unstable.

Now let's take a look at some of our favorite Sheen quotes, tweets, and oddities straight from the Sheenius himself. These nuggets are pure gold. Or just nuggets. But, in the words of LeVar Burton, "don't take my word for it."
(special thanks to http://charlieswinning.com/quotes/ for the quotes)

“I am on a drug – it’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available because if you try it, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.” Wow. Can I Just say that he paints such a detailed visual, I can see exactly the level of morbidity (spell checker says I'm ok with that one) and delusionalism (spell checker says I'm not on that one) in his head.

“I’m different. I have a different constitution, I have a different brain, I have a different heart. I got tiger blood, man.” Right on the money. If you have tiger's blood in you you're not just different, you are a miracle. You also might have tiger aids.

“If you borrowed my brain for five seconds, you’d be like, ‘Dude! Can’t handle it, unplug this bastard!’ It fires in a way that’s maybe not from, uh… this terrestrial realm.”

“The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them look like droopy-eyed, armless children.” Sure, if you're on drugs you could meet famous stars and see people as though they had no arms. everyone has a bad trip sometimes and has to hang out with Jagger. Look at Randy Jackson.

“I probably took more than anybody could survive. I was banging seven-gram rocks. Because that’s how I roll. I have one speed. I have one gear: Go.”

“I’m not bi-polar, I’m bi-winning.” What does that even mean? bi-winning? You win, and yet, you win? A win-win situation? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

“It’s been a tsunami of media and I’ve been riding it on a mercury surfboard.” The tiger's blood must be immune to mercury. Or maybe his drug experimentation has gone too far.

“The only thing I’m addicted to right now is winning.” Give up on the lotto man, let it go.

“Dying is for fools, amateurs.”

“I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words — imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.” Fire breathing - ok, you know what, no. I'll just take your word for it.

“If you’re a part of my family, I will love you violently.” That's gotten you in trouble with the coppers before. I don't think I would ever describe love as violent dude. That will only land you in the slammer. Again.

“I’ve got a 10,000 year old brain and the boogers of a 7 year old.” Pure genius. Couldn't have said it any better.

“I am battle tested bayonets” wait, what?

“Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber.”Now I'm lost for real.

"Rumors? fact? while feet drag, the warlock levitates. Away from fools gold, or towards the actual mine." So is it a rumor or a fact about the levitating warlock? Or is it a rumor or fact that someone's feet are dragging? Or is the warlock not levitating high enough because his feet are dragging on the ground? Or is the warlock a metaphor for Charlie who is levitating high as a kite? or...

"I'm dealing with fools and trolls, I don't have time for these clowns!" Who does have time for clowns when you've got trolls to deal with? Remember Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets? When there was a Troll loose in Hogwarts you didn't see him sitting in at the circus popping peanuts into his mouth and laughing casually at Bozo's antics. Oh no, he dealt with that troll even to the point of being covered in bogey. And what about Frodo and the Fellowship trapped in the Mines of Moria? You didn't hear them say, "Hey, why don't we go catch Barnum and Bailey's tonight? I can't handle these trolls." Negative, you did not. Charlie, maybe we've got you all wrong dude. Maybe we're not seeing things straight.

We're definitely not seeing this "straight". Poor Jimmy Kimmel didn't even see it coming.

Is it any coincidence that after all this insanity he is doing live shows across the country? What will he do, I wonder, at his live shows. Stand up? He definitely is funny, however not because of his "wit". Maybe he'll "bang seven gram rocks" and let people witness the dangerous spectacle. Maybe he'll just trash the set. Maybe he'll perform magic tricks he learned from the warlock. Whatever he does, I'm sure he'll win.

Betta Fish, Snail, and Frogs

Eh, Steve? sulked about his little aquariumcito until I finally dumped him into the goldfish bowl when the goldfishes died. In his place we put two dwarf african frogs, and a sea snail. I named one of the frogs Kermit, and I don't remember the other ones name. He's a poop though, doesn't do much. The snails name is Gary Frick. Turns out the snail is one of the coolest pets i've ever owned. He doesn't do a whole lot, but he does look super creepy, and glides around the bottom of the aquariumcito and up and down the sides all day. The frogs are mean, they always wait until the snail sticks his antennae out with his eye balls and then they jam their noses into his eyes until he hides them back under his shell. So that's what's going on now with the pets.
i got another gnome recently, his name is Rufus. I'll put up a picture of him eventually. I'm so behind!
Hmm...what else is new...Just plugging away at school and super busy with two jobs. Next week I'm working 26 hours at one job and 10 at the other. Plus I have a test or two.
Scott, Jon, and myself went and shot out the glass of an old TV that Hannah asked me to take out of my office ever since we moved into this apartment. That was fun. I took the first shot and a piece of glass hit me in the face. I guess we weren't standing far enough away. That was a bit unnerving. After we shot out all the glass we pushed it down a hill and shot at it as it rolled. That was fun.
I can't really think of anything else to say right now. I'm eating and I'm really hungry, so I'll just concentrate on that for now. Cheerio.

Enough is Enough already.

"Jimmer" is not an adjective. It is not an adverb. It is not a noun. It is not an interjection. It is not an onomatopoeia. It is not a verb that can be conjugated in the present, present perfect, preterit, etc. I don't believe it even qualifies as a personal pronoun, or obscenity. In the same way that you can't "smurf" something, or be "smurfed", or eat "smurfingly", nothing can be done with the so-called word "Jimmer" and leave you with a shred of dignity or smug benevolence. Enough is enough.

Got the job!

These past few months have been pretty hard. Hannah and I have had a lot of hopes and a lot of let downs. I applied for several HR internships only to be let down time and time again. We found the perfect summer job opportunity where we could both work at a resort in southern Utah and thought for sure we were going to get it along with some of our friends who were very qualified for the job. We were crushed when that plan fell through, but excited to try an even better job at a resort by Bear Lake where the manager was very excited about giving us the opportunity to work. We were let down again by bad news that we didn't have the right equipment to fulfill the position. Then, I was invited to an interview by a guy who said my resume was the best he'd seen and was excited to interview me if I could begin working full time in mid march. Again we were let down wondering if we would find anything at all. I interviewed with a very solid internship that never contacted me back, despite my attempt at contacting them for a follow up.

We kept praying and waiting patiently for an opportunity to come along, and then it did. Last year we went to Disneyland for spring break and had a great time. This year we didn't make any plans, and I worked a lot at Best Buy. Hannah frequently checked the job board at school for any signs of an internship or a job for the summer. On Wednesday she found a job appear in the HR department of USU. She excitedly told me about, and I called right away to schedule an appointment. I was told that only five applicants would be considered and that I should email my resume ASAP. I did so, and an interview was set up for Thursday morning. At the interview I was told that of the three applicants, I was the only one who A) followed instructions, and B) actually met the qualifications for the job. We had a great conversation and I felt very good about the interview. I was told that the job needed to be fulfilled very soon and that I would find out within a few days the final decision. Today I was extended an offer for the job.

The job is pretty simple, for now. The title is Office Assistant, and my big project for now is to file the ongoing stacks of immense paperwork that flow through the office daily. I'll also be tackling the daunting task of archiving documents from 1997-2005. There will be various tasks and projects that I will be assigned as they arise. Yeah, doesn't sound like a great job, right? Wrong! I was told there are plenty of opportunities to progress and move on to more meaningful positions. This is much better than an internship. We don't have to relocate, and I can work in an HR office throughout the rest of my college career. How good would it look on a resume to say I've got a few years of experience in an HR department? How great is it to be familiar with the paperwork that validates the existence of my chosen profession? An internship goes for maybe four months, and how will your employer know exactly what you've done? We are so thankful for this opportunity. Our prayers and fasts have been answered, and we are full of gratitude.

Things that disgust me

People who come in to my workplace without showering in the last forever
The Black Eye Peas
Lady Goo Goo
Twilight fans
Michael Moore
Sarah Palin
Mysterious smells on the bus
People who think they are mythical creatures
Bipolar weather
Parents who yell at their kids in public rest rooms or hit them with cardboard boxes in Smiths Marketplace
Exams with material not covered in the book or class
Rice cakes
PETA

Big trucks and big jerks

Why is it that big trucks make people feel entitled to be big jerks? Ive been cut off and nearly rear ended by tailgating big moustached truck driving gun toting camo wearing pure blooded american as apple pie republican cowboys more times this week than i can count. My wife was treated like dirt on the bottom of this idiots boots for asking him politly to move his stupid ford truck out of our designated parking spot. He didnt apologize or let alone acknowledge her presence. What gives you the right to treAt people this way? Do you think that the fact that your belt buckle is bigger than your brain you can do whatever you want? From this week on im cowboyist for sure. Prove me wrong you half a dozen jerks that have ruined my week, prove me wrong.

Angry customers

Today I dealt with the worst customer I've ever met. He approached me hostile and looking for trouble and looking to trip me up. He set traps for me and then insulted me. His wife stood there with a smug look on her face and let him do it too. I tried to stay calm but I was red in the face and my hands shook uncontrolably. Finally I stood up for myself and put him in his place and he backed down. What a terrible day at work.

Fish

Saturday my wife and I bought two goldfish. We named them Jimmy and Squatting-Bear. Unfortunately when we came home from school Monday, they were dead. And to make things worse, the bowl smelled like sulfur when I cleaned it out. So yesterday we did NOT buy the goldfish at walmart, and went to Petsmart. We bought two goldfish again, this time naming them Freddie and Jason. We'll see how long they last. I bought myself a little betta fish to put on my desk. Under the right light, he looks like he's glowing. I named him Eh, Steve? So far he is still alive, which I'm glad. He keeps uprooting the one plant I have in his little aquariumcito though which angers me. Stop it Eh, Steve? !