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Friday, March 22, 2013

Petition to the White House

I started a petition, please read the details below, and sign it.


WE PETITION THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION TO:

End civilian casualties resulting from Unmanned Combat Air Vehicles (Drones).

Between January 2006 and April 2009, 687 innocent Pakistani civilians were collateral damage from drone strikes. During that time, only 14 terrorists or suspected terrorists were neutralized. That is 49 civilian casualties per terrorist. The United States government should not continue a program that takes the lives of innocent people in other countries. That is inhumane and unAmerican. President Obama, please end civilian casualties as a result of drone strikes by discontinuing the use of unmanned combat air vehicles.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Robots Making Robots (Made In The USA)

      For those of you who know me personally, you probably know how I feel about drones.  I got into some hot water on Facebook because a friend of mine is in the military.  She has a different point of view, or from what I gathered, misinterpreted my view.  My original statement had to do with a simple question: "Why is it that when another country attacks us from the sky, it's terrorism, but when the US attacks another country from the sky, it's 'National Defense'?"  Then a big discussion took place about how the US are not terrorists and that we're justified and blah blah blah.  Her take on the comment was, would I rather risk a team of six or seven American soldiers on a mission in hostile territory, or send in a robot to take out the target?  Of course I wouldn't want to risk American lives.  But we shouldn't be there in the first place.  No WMDs, Bin Laden is dead, Saddam is dead, why are we still there?  

      Is the collateral damage worth it?  Look at Pakistan.  "60 cross-border predator strikes in the period from January 2006 to April 2009 killed 14 wanted al-Qaeda leaders and 687 Pakistani civilians."  So for that time period, and only in Pakistan, the US killed  about 49 innocent people per terrorist.  Innocent people are getting blown up in the streets, in their homes, in the marketplace...if that's not terrorism than I don't know what is.   I don't like loss of life.  I was upset that they killed Bin Laden.  Before I start getting hate mail, I want to clarify that statement.  Bin Laden deserved to sit in prison for his crimes against humanity.  Is it a fitting end for his body to be eaten by fishes? Sure, why not.  I believe he'll face consequences in the next life for the things that he's done, because that's what I believe in.  But I also believe that he deserved to face justice in this life by sitting in prison.  No matter how screwed up our fellow humans are, they are still humans, not mosquitos.  But unlike mosquitos, they can be punished for their crimes through the monotony and solitude of prison, reflecting on the decisions they made that landed them there.  Even if he thinks what he did was right, he will know the reason his personal freedoms have been taken away, are because he killed innocent people.


      Back to the drones, though.  Apart from civilian casualties, another of the most alarming things about America's obsession with drones is that the government is  killing people in countries that we are not at war with.  And in an action that parallels the infamous "Patriot Act" (have to love their word choice for such a despicable display of ignoring inalienable rights), the executive branch has taken upon itself the war time powers that are reserved for, you know, war.   The powers extend even to targeted killings of American's abroad that could possibly be terrorists, though little to know intelligence is required to confirm the validity of terrorist activity.  So if you're an American traveling abroad, and you attended a meeting of anarchists in college one night because you thought it would be funny, that's enough grounds to have you blown up as you walk outside of your hotel.  


    So why are we still there?  You ask a Washington insider, they'll say it's national defense.  Get them before they get us.  "Good guy with a gun vs a bad guy with a gun" scenario.  But is that really it?  Is it because of oil and special interest groups?  Is it the military industrial complex?  Is it because manufacturing of weapons provides jobs in a failing economy?  Is it a personal vendetta?  Maybe the US just can't let go.  Maybe we have too much aggression.  Maybe we do it to prove to countries that can actually defend themselves that we are a force not to be reckoned with.  Maybe we like to prey on the weak.  Maybe it's to show North Korea what will happen if they try anything.  Maybe we're bored.  Maybe it's because we care so little about our own people that we enjoy being distracted by explosions.  Maybe we watch too many Michael Bay films.


     This topic has been on my mind for a long time.  In fact, I tried several times to write about it before scrapping what I had in frustration because I couldn't quite say what I wanted to say about how upset it makes me.  So here it is, attempt number whatever number this is.  And after listening to a lot of Rage Against the Machine and the Flobots, I put together a string of couplets that I named Robots Making Robots (Made in the USA), that says a lot of what I want to say but can only say while rhyming, apparently.  So, here it is:



Robots Making Robots (Made In the USA)

we are machines making machines
running on electric caffeine
designed only for the construction
of new age tools of destruction
we've been programmed to make clones
of each new batch of master's drones
we bid farewell to our new brothers
and if they die, we'll build some others
programmed to rain hellfire from the sky
and film the casualties of those who die
program them to feel no remorse
or to flinch at the sign of a corpse
be it the target, a woman, a child
store it away in a federal file
we machines build machines for our machine king
fueled by power, greed, and political caffeine
--Jake Garrett

So remember kids: eat dessert first; you never know when you might be a casualty in a drone strike.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Clams


"Are you happy?" asked one clam to the other
"What is happy?" it asked, so the first asked another
"Don't people say we're happy clams?"
"They do said it so, though I don't know if I am."
"Then why do they say it? cuz they say it a lot."
"I suppose it's because they don't know that I'm not."
--Jake Garrett

Like a Rat


From my cage where I sit I can see the outside
The wind blows softly while the sun shines
The air could be cleaner and fresher out there
But how can I know if I am in here?
I run all day long inside of my wheel
But when I look back I see I'm here still

From my cage where I sit I can see the outside
I see birds flying free and living their lives
And long to be out and about just like them
But I've been forgot and remain here locked in
So here I will sit and watch them go by
And imagine that some day, like them, I'll fly
--Jake Garrett

Vampires Used To Be Creepy


I remember when Vampires were creepy and weird and deadly
long before they were vegan and sparkly and friendly
they would take shapes like bats and dogs and fog
and not be depressed, aloof, or socially odd
they walked in daylight and purchased real estate
stayed out early and slept in late
visited zoos and insane asylums
and were their own species, genus, and phylum
lived in big mansions and preyed on house guests
and converted their victims by tearing open their chest
yes, those were the times when vampires scared
and people gathered by the fear that they shared
but it will never again be the same
because Meyer made vamps lame
--Jake Garrett

Monday, March 4, 2013

I'm Afraid I Might Be John Boehner


I'm afraid I might be John Boehner
and I'd rather be Darth Vader
I looked in a glass and saw in my eyes
bloodshot arteries of a very long cry

I'm afraid I might be Boehner, John
because with others I cannot get along
If there's something you want, I see that it's blocked
When no progress is made I pretend that I'm shocked

I'm afraid I might be Speaker of the House
I will listen to no one who wears a blouse
Because the Koch Party has spoken and it is decreed
That men's problems are the only problems we need

Please tell me I am not John Boehner
In the instant I'm silent but then complain later
I hope that this nightmare and scare will all pass
and I wake up tomorrow  no longer an a**
--Jake Garrett

Narc - A Satirical Poem on the Media


There's no telling the telling that I'll tell on you
If I see you doing what you ought not to do
I'll note it and dote it and report it all too
If I see you doing what you ought not to do

And if I am sneaky and careful and neat
I'll capture on camera and record what you speak
Then print it and post it all over the news
If I see you doing what you ought not to do

You can run and you can hide, but you can't run AND hide
Your life is very slippery spiral slope slide
And despite your best efforts your PR aide too
I'll still print the things that I know about you

And who is to say what you ought not to do?
I am who says what you can and can't do
For all who I tell will blindly believe
That you are a liar with tricks up your sleeve
And even if what I say is simply not true
There is no one, nowhere, who will believe you
If I see you doing what you ought not to do

There's no telling the telling that I'll tell on you
If I see you doing what you ought not to do
I'll note it and dote it and report it all too
If I see you doing what you ought not to do

--Jake Garrett

If I Was A Werewolf


If I was a werewolf, I would howl at the moon
I would eat with my claws and neglect the spoon
I'd eat kindergartners like they were just snacks
but most of all, I'd kill Jacob Black

Werewolves spare no one, not even pretty girls
or girls who Hollywood tells you are pretty girls
real werewolves are malicious and hauntingly vicious
and would kill Jacob Black though not very delicious

Hey Mr. Black, do you know what they would do?
The Wolfman and Teen Wolf, if they knew about you?
They'd rip you and tear you and chew right through
Cause funny enough, that's what werewolves do
For real werewolves hate werewolves who are fakes
and hang out with vegan vampires by lakes
who substitute humans for celery
You're a disgrace to the wolves who you claim to be

You're a poser Jacob Black, you put real wolves to shame
that's why yours is the first name that I name
that's on my list of heads that I'll crack
cause all real wolves hate you, Jacob Black
--Jake Garrett

I Want a Pet Sarlacc Named Marty - by Jake Garrett


I want a pet Sarlacc named Marty
I'd feed him only hunters of bounty
I'd show my friends at a dinner party
then feed them to him with pure sociopathic glee

I know I couldn't take Marty for walks
no one makes leashes that are quite that long
but Marty prefers our long philosophical talks
after having fed him a high school dance team on a bus

Marty and me we'll be as happy can be
content to just lie in the sun
and though by thousands of years he'll outlive me
I'm glad to know that I fed him my high school gym teacher after all

he's as hungry an omnivorous anthropod as you've ever seen
and lonely still it would seem
for his tentacles are far to big and clumsy
to search for a mate on singlesarlaccs.com

His family I know, I can never replace
for they live so very far away
and he may never again look upon his mother's face
because it may have been ripped off by a greater krayt dragon from Kashyyyk

and though he'll miss the dunes and the pit of Carkoon
I'll make do with a pile of sand
cause my back yard is small and my mom disapproves
Wait a second, I'll just feed her to Marty. Problem solved.

Marty's loud laughter could wake the dead
but I'm not concerned about that
for when zombies rise I'll have nothing to dread
Marty likes his humans fermented

Marty's a killer with a heart of gold it's true
and a wonderful garbage disposal
but above all he'll bend an ear for you
while it digests in his stomach for a millenium

So if you don't cross me and you don't cross him
we'll share a few laughs together
Marty and me and possibly you
we'll laugh as dear Boba's dismemebered


Sunday, March 3, 2013

Episode #7


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What's in the box?
Politics

Opinion
Guns For Greatness
I don't think that the crowd turning up to a Beyonce concert would necessarily be a big gun toting group, and the small percentage that do have guns aren't crazy killers.  I think that it is ineffective, but I'll give them props for trying. More guns does not equal more safety. Look at accidental gun deaths. How many children shoot themselves or their friends with their parents guns? We can't erroneously believe that the definition of "responsible gun owner" means someone who hasn't murdered anyone.  The kids accidentally shooting themselves are dying because their "responsible" gun owning parents leave their weapons out.

Guns should be registered to their owner who must pass background checks and safety courses. The 2nd amendment should have limitations just like the first amendment.  You have the right to free speech to an extent. The are things by law you cannot say. Felons who have broken the law should not be given unrestricted access to guns. By breaking the law they forfeit their right to bear arms.  I'ma gonna stop.

I don't care!