If I Was A Werewolf

If I was a werewolf, I would howl at the moon
I would eat with my claws and neglect the spoon
I'd eat kindergartners like they were just snacks
but most of all, I'd kill Jacob Black

Werewolves spare no one, not even pretty girls
or girls who Hollywood tells you are pretty girls
real werewolves are malicious and hauntingly vicious
and would kill Jacob Black though not very delicious

Hey Mr. Black, do you know what they would do?
The Wolfman and Teen Wolf, if they knew about you?
They'd rip you and tear you and chew right through
Cause funny enough, that's what werewolves do
For real werewolves hate werewolves who are fakes
and hang out with vegan vampires by lakes
who substitute humans for celery
You're a disgrace to the wolves who you claim to be

You're a poser Jacob Black, you put real wolves to shame
that's why yours is the first name that I name
that's on my list of heads that I'll crack
cause all real wolves hate you, Jacob Black
--Jake Garrett