For our amusement, the republican golf scramble for the White House continues to churn its candidates into the grease of its political machine this week. Unfortunately, the most entertaining player of the politically-charged comedic reality sitcom, Hermain Cain CEO, has graciously tapped out. This has caused great disappointment to many viewers who pined for new romantic plot twists, pokemon references, and catchy one-size-fits-all one liners. His final address moved the audience nearly to tears as he bid farewell to his fellow contestants and fan base. This serious toned voice was not the man we knew until he quoted Pokemon: The Movie, assuring us it was not his stuntman or a look-a-like filling in. Many fans of the program are now wondering how the show will go on without him, much as was speculated when leading man Steve Carrell left The Office. Only time will tell.
It is also unfortunate that the once critically-acclaimed funny man and supporting actor, Rick Perry, has kept a low profile since his midseason debute on the show. He quickly proved to be the comedic highlight with his own interpretation of Kramer, that is, until his lines were altered in such a way that the writers were no longer true to his character. He then sunk back in the shadows and remained dormantly bland for weeks. Like a child in the 19th century, he spoke only when spoken to instead of speaking loudly for attention over the television set like children of today. Thank goodness he is back!
Hilarity ensued during this past week's episode when the Perry we loved returned by asking the youth who would not be 21 by the primary to keep working hard while those who were 21 should vote for him. I still chuckle at his subtle alienation of the undesirable voting demographic of the 18-20 year olds. His playfully satirical remark plateaued when he mislead the ignorant demographic by implying the wrong date for casting votes! Genius! Only that demographic would be fooled while voters 21 and older sneak quietly to the booth, pencil held high in silent mockery of the politically uninformed.
Not all the contestants are jubilant and care-free, however. Tensions are running high between the hopeless Huntsman and the wealthy has-been Donald Chump. The Hair has invited all the contestants to battle before his throne as Commudus of Rome, with the unspoken promise of the victor to be crowned with his endorsement. Huntsman has refused to bow before the throne, and has begun his own movement of Occupy Any Space Void of the Donald.
Huntsman's Occupy movement is hurting Chump's pride while simultaneously tearing our eyes from the intertwinings of Donald's beautiful, healthy mane, awakening our minds enough to ask the question, "how is he refusing The Hair?" He must either be a Hut, or not weak-minded enough to fall victim to Jedi mind tricks. However it is that he eludes the Hair is yet to be explained.
Everyone understands the principles behind the adage "you have to kiss a lot of the bottom to make it to the top". We can only guess what happened to the huntsman who defied the wicked queen by presenting her with the heart of a deer instead of Snow White's. You cannot fool the Hair, and you cannot fool an employer. Look what happened to Freddo.
In other contestant news:
Being too busy googling his own name, the other Rick will not be capitalizing on large scale manufacturing and distribution of the long sought after Rick Santorum Bobble-Head collection in time for Christmas.
Michele Backman is indeed still running, slowly.
Ron Paul's cult remains small and restless, longing for Ron Paul the Grey to transform into Ron Paul the White, and take the ring of power for himself.
Mitt Romney still fumes when others reminisce of another Mitt who believed the opposite of what current Mitt believes.Other Mitt lives perpetually in the past, which will soon create a paradox in the space time continuum because the present will soon pass into the past, where two drastically different Mitts coexist with a polarized state of mind.
Newt Gingrich continues to scowl.
It is also unfortunate that the once critically-acclaimed funny man and supporting actor, Rick Perry, has kept a low profile since his midseason debute on the show. He quickly proved to be the comedic highlight with his own interpretation of Kramer, that is, until his lines were altered in such a way that the writers were no longer true to his character. He then sunk back in the shadows and remained dormantly bland for weeks. Like a child in the 19th century, he spoke only when spoken to instead of speaking loudly for attention over the television set like children of today. Thank goodness he is back!
Hilarity ensued during this past week's episode when the Perry we loved returned by asking the youth who would not be 21 by the primary to keep working hard while those who were 21 should vote for him. I still chuckle at his subtle alienation of the undesirable voting demographic of the 18-20 year olds. His playfully satirical remark plateaued when he mislead the ignorant demographic by implying the wrong date for casting votes! Genius! Only that demographic would be fooled while voters 21 and older sneak quietly to the booth, pencil held high in silent mockery of the politically uninformed.
Not all the contestants are jubilant and care-free, however. Tensions are running high between the hopeless Huntsman and the wealthy has-been Donald Chump. The Hair has invited all the contestants to battle before his throne as Commudus of Rome, with the unspoken promise of the victor to be crowned with his endorsement. Huntsman has refused to bow before the throne, and has begun his own movement of Occupy Any Space Void of the Donald.
Huntsman's Occupy movement is hurting Chump's pride while simultaneously tearing our eyes from the intertwinings of Donald's beautiful, healthy mane, awakening our minds enough to ask the question, "how is he refusing The Hair?" He must either be a Hut, or not weak-minded enough to fall victim to Jedi mind tricks. However it is that he eludes the Hair is yet to be explained.
Everyone understands the principles behind the adage "you have to kiss a lot of the bottom to make it to the top". We can only guess what happened to the huntsman who defied the wicked queen by presenting her with the heart of a deer instead of Snow White's. You cannot fool the Hair, and you cannot fool an employer. Look what happened to Freddo.
In other contestant news:
Being too busy googling his own name, the other Rick will not be capitalizing on large scale manufacturing and distribution of the long sought after Rick Santorum Bobble-Head collection in time for Christmas.
Michele Backman is indeed still running, slowly.
Ron Paul's cult remains small and restless, longing for Ron Paul the Grey to transform into Ron Paul the White, and take the ring of power for himself.
Mitt Romney still fumes when others reminisce of another Mitt who believed the opposite of what current Mitt believes.Other Mitt lives perpetually in the past, which will soon create a paradox in the space time continuum because the present will soon pass into the past, where two drastically different Mitts coexist with a polarized state of mind.
Newt Gingrich continues to scowl.
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