Groundhog's Day

Nothing is as unfortunate as the name Punxsutawney Phil. And people wonder why he hides out all year long. I can't imagine how he must have felt in grade school; never learning how to properly spell his name, let alone pronounce it. This morning when P. Phil stuck his nose out of the hole and took a look around, the whole country held it's breath whether they knew it or not. And the verdict? P. Phil did not see a single Zombie. It isn't conclusive at all if the Zombie Apocalypse will be this spring or not, and lamentably Punxsutawney does not have the budget to pay P. Phil to stick his nose out more than once a year to tell us all what our own eyes can see. Could it be that P. Phil can psychically see into the future with those beady little eyes of his? Some traditions just don't make any sense.