I was just looking at the weather and according to weather.com, it says it is currently 91 degrees but it "feels like 90." I wonder how much the person gets paid to say what they think the weather "feels like". I could do that job, "Whooo, man, it feels like really hot out here tonight, I'm gonna guess based solely on how much I'm sweating, it's gotta be at least 100 degrees."
Money in the bank.
But then I thought to myself, do I really wanna be the guy who disagrees over one degree? "Yeah Bob, I see that the thermometer says 91, but it just ain't that hot out tonight. I'm gonna go ahead and say it feels like 90, because come on, 91? There is just no way. I've felt 91 countless times in my life, and this? This just isn't a 91 kinda heat."
I guess it depends on how much they're paying me to be a jerk for a living.
I wonder how a job interview for that position would go? I imagine it to go something like this:
"What makes you qualified to feel weather?"
"I don't know, ever since I was a kid I just kind of had a knack for it, you know?"
"I thought I felt something just now...do you know what that was?"
"That was probably indigestion."
"Very good..."
Then they would test the candidate's ability to feel things by blindfolding them and having them touch random stuff.
"This feels like a dead rat."
"That is correct. And this?"
"Definitely a shoe string dipped in peanut butter and...sprinkled with oregano."
"That is also correct. And this?"
"The object with which you slapped me across the face was a live herring."
"Gooooood..."
The weird thing is you know that that person probably has a masters or doctorate degree in something.
So I browsed around on the website for a little longer, and saw this thing that says "15 Minute Details." And you know what? I'm not so sure that I want this job anymore. The Feels-Like weatherperson has a grueling job! Every fifteen minutes he/she has to be confrontational. Right now, for example, science is declaring that the temperature has dropped down to 83 degrees, but it "feels like" 81 degrees. "Yeah Bob, I know it says 83, but I have an instinctive habit, a Pavlov's dog, if you will, that I put on a light wind breaker at 82. I have put on my windbreaker, and I wouldn't do that if it didn't feel like it was sub 82. I have zipped it halfway and put my hands part way in my pockets, which means it's gotta be an 81 right now, Bob." Man, I would hate working with someone like that.
Predicting weather is kind of a sham anyway. It's been less than 100 years since meteorologists have been tracking weather patterns that could influence chance of rain. Since they don't have that much to go on, it's still a work in progress. That's why when they say there's a 10% chance of precipitation and I plan on a big outing outside, it rains like crazy all day and I have to stay inside. And with global warming becoming more and more of an issue, that's gonna throw some crazy outlier wrenches into the cogs of statistics. What they should do, is the "Feels-Like" weatherperson could wear two hats, if he/she has time, and be the guesser for rain. "It feels like 50 degrees, and maybe some rain, I don't know. That's a funnel cloud over there. I just felt a small cat strike the side of my head, I'm thinking a tornado. Ok, there is definitely going to be some crazy stuff going on, so don't get out the barbeque just yet."
Ok, I guess maybe I don't want to be a weatherman. Being confrontational every 15 minutes and getting struck by flying felines would just bring me down. Plus I'd have to go through all that extra school, too.
I can't help but feel bad for Bob, too.
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